I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
