Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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