Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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