I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
