When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
