i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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