I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
