I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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