he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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