She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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