Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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