She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
