We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
