By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
