You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
