we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
