sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The air was thick with penises
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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