i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
