he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
wow bdsm is so cute
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
