I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
