Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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