Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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