It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
