when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize