i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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