i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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