Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
