two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
