It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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