Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
