I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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