An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
