Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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