So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
