did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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