in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Green mimosas i think yes
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
