You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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