you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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