I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
