I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
