I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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