I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
