I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
