I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
