He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
