Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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