doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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