I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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