he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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