I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
