My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
