You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
