Sry I called you an 8
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
