yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
