Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
