I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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